Selamat Hari Raya

I couldn't post longer than this. I wish I could. I was so busy fulfilled my Ramadhan month this year with as many as "ibadah" I could do. I'm going back to my hometown to celebrate the Syawal with my family. I wish All The Muslim Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin.

One SLE is Down...........

From left: Mama, Arwah Kak Long and Papa

It was on the 14th August 2009. The “thing” strike for the third time in her life. She survived form the previous attacks. The “thing” viciously attacked her and made her lying helplessly on the bed.

I saw her… I saw her on the bed…. with all the wires on her body….. supporting her to survive. It was really heartbreaking to see her in poignant condition. Nothing else I could do… my tears started rolling down on my cheeks…. I couldn’t stop …trying harder..but more and more tears coming out…

It is time…. It is Time… She leaves us… with a smile on her face saying goodbye to us. I know how happy she is being invited to meet the Almighty leaving behind her sickness.. Letting her go… the hardest things to do... Letting her peacefully go to the Next World…

She and I are now in different places … separated from the crucial world…. No means to connect…. Only endless Prayers as precious gifts for her … The thought is always there.. Hoping that she has a better life… and patiently wait for the time that definitely come and we will be reunited…

My beloved sister Allahyarhamah Zalina, 39, was sufferings from Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. Her autoimmune system is overactive. Her body's defenses attack healthy tissue and organs. It happened to her for 28 years. She quietly slipped away at about 9.45pm on Friday with her husband, father, mother, brother, sisters, uncles, aunties, cousins and all relatives at her side.

ALFATIHAH

Walking @ KB beach

Looking at the sunset - Kuala Belait Beach.



It was low tide and we did walking along the beach

MY 2 Heroes

Remember how fast they grow become my heroes.. I would definitely miss them when they were babies

This was at the gold souq Dubai in 2006 . The eldest, Irfan was 4 yrs old and Zikry was 6 months old.

This was in 2007 during Hari Raya. Our rented house in Brunei.

This was in 2008 @ Miri International Airport, Sarawak, Malaysia.

This is the latest picture taken at the Empire Bandar Sri Begawan, Brunei Darussalam.

The Instinct

The instinct that goes for your loved ones is the most likely to happen.

Last Saturday, I was busy in the kitchen and I felt choking in my throat. I tried to ease by drinking some water. But the water "entered" the wrong channel and made me coughing badly. Our culture believes that it might be someone is talking about you. How far it's TRUE only ALLAH knows.

Then, my right eye started to blink for a few times. Again, our culture believes that you will cry because something bad will happen to you. How far it's TRUE only ALLAH knows. For me every blink in my eyes will lead me to crying. I felt uneasy. My instinct says something is happening back home.


The next day, I called my dad and he told me my mom and sister are sick and admitted at the hospital. I feel sad and wish I could be there next to them. That would be impossible.. Who is going to take care of my children when I am away?


Only my prayers are with them.

The Living Changes...

I started living outside of Malaysia in 1996. Furthering my studies was absolutely a good starter in having tremendously changes in my life. It was so far away and took one day to travel from my place. I really enjoyed it as i had nothing to think of except study.


Then, after having struggling living in KL with one husband and one kid, we decided to get more cash in hand by working outside of Malaysia. Our first country would be in one of the Middle East countries, Oman. The sweetest moment I had there is spending a night eating Lamb Kebab with my Hubby sitting by the beach. At that time my 2 boys was asleep in the car. How a sweet one having time together after quite sometimes we were busy with the very young children.


Next, we are in Brunei. Malaysia and Brunei share almost every things i.e weather, culture, language etc. I would say Brunei is like our home. Peace by nature but a little bit slow of development. Less development less pollution.. less busy. Nevertheless, I enjoy it very much. I would say "we"... yes!! We enjoy living here very much.

Finding Times

I always have difficulties in finding times on my own. Spending time with my 2 boys is my top list to do everyday. Being a manager to them is like being a manager in an international company. I would ensure them having a smoothly running of the day especially on the weekdays.

That's why i couldn't write much earlier even my blog space have been created few months ago. I would say the involvement of a blogger will rip you off sometimes with your family. I'm not going to let it happen. That's why my first post would be this short as I have 2 boys on-school-going to attend to.

Neither I'm becoming an excessively blogger nor committed one. I just want a space to write, share ideas and express feelings. Hoping that the next post will coming in the next few days.